Monday, February 28, 2011

What I should have said

What I should have said in that last post, what I meant to have said in that last post, was this:

The smell of melting butter and raw sugar puts my soul at ease.  When I stir that stuff together and put my nose up real close, I forget about my humanness.  I forget about the thing that makes me most angry about myself; I am able to, for a few moments, let go of that dreadful green thing called jealousy.

Just a pot... a teeny tiny pot, full of 2 magnificent ingredients used in the art of baking... sitting on top of a flame and combining into one thick, sweet liquid.  Watching it, moving it, basking in it's scent.

Moments spent focusing on what is right in front rather than letting all other things infiltrate the mind and spirit.

A great big sniff.  Makes my eyes close and I stop thinking about stuff.  Stuff that doesn't directly impact me unless I allow it.  Stuff like things.  Jobs.  Desired friendships.  Blogs.  Comments.  Body image.  Body shape.  Confidence.  More things.  Attachment.  Ease.  Sexuality.  Money.  Neighborhoods.  Passion.  Family relationships.  Fertility.  More and  more things.  Time.  Knowledge.  Wisdom.  Perfection.

Moments.