Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I love

I did this whole big post, then ended up deleting it.  I hope no one read it, because it was out there for a few minutes this morning.  If you did, forgive me for filling your head with bad writing.

Forgive me for doing it again.

I love my kid so much.  So incredibly much.  Like, so, so, so, so much.

I love the friendships that had been planted at miscellaneous times and truly began to bloom this summer.

I love that I want to write a book with very specific bits and pieces for leone's caretaker, because that means I know him better than I have ever known him.  It also means that I am finally trusting myself as a mother.  As his mother.

I love that I found, implemented, and continue to work on perfecting, a pie crust that I now consider my own.  It will be the one I use for all pies for the rest of my life.  It will also win me prizes, and for that I am appreciative (perhaps presumptuous of me, but all the same).

I love that I have been able to spend so many moments with my boy.  Understanding his faces, his voices, the tilt of his hips, the moments that take him to the edge, the times that make him fly.  Truly an honor.  I can't even allow myself to wonder for so many seconds about him not being right beside me during the day next week, or the week after, or the five million weeks after that... it hurts to much.  I am so grateful for your presence... for your person, my darling little one.

I love tesoro.

I love finding out that I am okay, just the way I am.

I have grown.  I am thankful.